A welcome note..

Tuesday, March 17, 2015

Saturday, December 21, 2013

Don't date a girl who reads — Charles Warnke

“You Should Date an Illiterate Girl”, by Charles Warnke
Date a girl who doesn’t read. Find her in the weary squalor of a Midwestern bar. Find her in the smoke, drunken sweat, and varicolored light of an upscale nightclub. Wherever you find her, find her smiling. Make sure that it lingers when the people that are talking to her look away. Engage her with unsentimental trivialities. Use pick-up lines and laugh inwardly. 
Take her outside when the night overstays its welcome. Ignore the palpable weight of fatigue. Kiss her in the rain under the weak glow of a streetlamp because you’ve seen it in film. Remark at its lack of significance. Take her to your apartment. Dispatch with making love. Fuck her.
Let the anxious contract you’ve unwittingly written evolve slowly and uncomfortably into a relationship. Find shared interests and common ground like sushi, and folk music. Build an impenetrable bastion upon that ground. Make it sacred. Retreat into it every time the air gets stale, or the evenings get long. Talk about nothing of significance. Do little thinking. Let the months pass unnoticed. Ask her to move in. Let her decorate. Get into fights about inconsequential things like how the fucking shower curtain needs to be closed so that it doesn’t fucking collect mold. Let a year pass unnoticed. Begin to notice.
Figure that you should probably get married because you will have wasted a lot of time otherwise. Take her to dinner on the forty-fifth floor at a restaurant far beyond your means. Make sure there is a beautiful view of the city. Sheepishly ask a waiter to bring her a glass of champagne with a modest ring in it. When she notices, propose to her with all of the enthusiasm and sincerity you can muster. Do not be overly concerned if you feel your heart leap through a pane of sheet glass. For that matter, do not be overly concerned if you cannot feel it at all. If there is applause, let it stagnate. If she cries, smile as if you’ve never been happier. If she doesn’t, smile all the same.
Let the years pass unnoticed. Get a career, not a job. Buy a house. Have two striking children. Try to raise them well. Fail, frequently. Lapse into a bored indifference. Lapse into an indifferent sadness. Have a mid-life crisis. Grow old. Wonder at your lack of achievement. Feel sometimes contented, but mostly vacant and ethereal. Feel, during walks, as if you might never return, or as if you might blow away on the wind. Contract a terminal illness. Die, but only after you observe that the girl who didn’t read never made your heart oscillate with any significant passion, that no one will write the story of your lives, and that she will die, too, with only a mild and tempered regret that nothing ever came of her capacity to love.
Do those things, because nothing sucks worse than a girl who reads. Do it, I say, because a life in purgatory is better than a life in hell. Do it, because a girl who reads possesses a vocabulary that can describe that amorphous discontent as a life unfulfilled—a vocabulary that parses the innate beauty of the world and makes it an accessible necessity instead of an alien wonder. A girl who reads lays claim to a vocabulary that distinguishes between the specious and soulless rhetoric of someone who cannot love her, and the inarticulate desperation of someone who loves her too much. A vocabulary, god damnit, that makes my vacuous sophistry a cheap trick.
Do it, because a girl who reads understands syntax. Literature has taught her that moments of tenderness come in sporadic but knowable intervals. A girl who reads knows that life is not planar; she knows, and rightly demands, that the ebb comes along with the flow of disappointment. A girl who has read up on her syntax senses the irregular pauses—the hesitation of breath—endemic to a lie. A girl who reads perceives the difference between a parenthetical moment of anger and the entrenched habits of someone whose bitter cynicism will run on, run on well past any point of reason, or purpose, run on far after she has packed a suitcase and said a reluctant goodbye and she has decided that I am an ellipsis and not a period and run on and run on. Syntax that knows the rhythm and cadence of a life well lived.
Date a girl who doesn’t read because the girl who reads knows the importance of plot. She can trace out the demarcations of a prologue and the sharp ridges of a climax. She feels them in her skin. The girl who reads will be patient with an intermission and expedite a denouement. But of all things, the girl who reads knows most the ineluctable significance of an end. She is comfortable with them. She has bid farewell to a thousand heroes with only a twinge of sadness.
Don’t date a girl who reads because girls who read are the storytellers. You with the Joyce, you with the Nabokov, you with the Woolf. You there in the library, on the platform of the metro, you in the corner of the cafĂ©, you in the window of your room. You, who make my life so god damned difficult. The girl who reads has spun out the account of her life and it is bursting with meaning. She insists that her narratives are rich, her supporting cast colorful, and her typeface bold. You, the girl who reads, make me want to be everything that I am not. But I am weak and I will fail you, because you have dreamed, properly, of someone who is better than I am. You will not accept the life that I told of at the beginning of this piece. You will accept nothing less than passion, and perfection, and a life worthy of being storied. So out with you, girl who reads. Take the next southbound train and take your Hemingway with you. I hate you. I really, really, really hate you.

Mishi's Note:
                  I was supposed to write something myself and then I came across this, every word of it was worth sharing so I shared. Isnt it beautiful yet saddening, I had a lot to relate with this and almost every lady that I know here would feel the same about it. I am already glad if you did!

Saturday, April 6, 2013

ECP, Mr. Paracha and me

So here comes the historical moment in the lives of desperate Pakistanis after decades of dictatorial epoch ,they tell us! we are blessed to witness the first ever "Five-Years UN-INTERRUPTED term" of a democratic government, they insist. Something to boast about in front of your grandchildren one day, they exaggerate! and so goes on the rant of our politicians-cum-actors-cum-idiots-cum-retards-cum-clumsy clowns!

Anyway, this post is not going to be wasted mourning the last five years in vain, lets talk about something else instead, something more refreshing if I could give you a hint here *chuckles* YES!! Lets talk about the most talked about topic these days yet again, I will be more then excited to break the story to you if luckily any one of my readers refrains from watching news, reading paper and talking about the current national scenario under the strict instructions of their Doctor, I mean there is this priceless feeling of being The First One to break news, right? But then it has its own side-effects, I mean my lappy is not charged enough to go this far to allow me to quote the details here and we have no power for the last 3 hours now * Did I just hear "Raja BC" here?* Oh no, I promised myself not to rant the bloody old rants again. We have had enough already, ENOUGH! Lets move on, shall we?

So yes guys I believe you must have heard it in bits up til now THAT;

*There are 32 Paraa's In Quran.
*There are 6 pillers of Islam.
*There is a Sajda in Nama e Janazza too (makes you wonder if this guy ever attended any Janaza at all in his life)
*Prayer of Qanoot is read in Fajar.
*Sorah a Ikhlas in place of Drood -e Inraheemi.

The list is too long here but then I don't want to trouble my Non-Pakistani readers here, Oh and before Mr. Paracha Labels me with a "Jahadi" and start a crusade war against me on Twitter, let me have my say first. But before I do that, let me introduce you to Mr. Paracha here. Mr. P and his likewise are "The Most Unhappy" people on the land of pure, this is being the most precised description I could come up with. They are the so-called Ultimate Critics , do and will criticise whatsoever comes their way.You are doomed and doomed pretty much bad if you follow them to have a clear opinion because all they leave you with is utter confusion and not to mention a headache too.

Mushuruff comes in or goes out, Afridi performs well or sucks at batting, CJ delays or takes Suo-moto notice of Shahzeb Murder case, Insar Abbasi does or does not come up with his investigatve-cum-personal opinion in Capital Talk, Sana Bucha does or does not change her hair-style, Najam Sethi does or does not mention his Chirya, it rains or it does not rain in Tahir Qadri's dhurna, We trade with U.S or with China or with India, No Independent Election Commission or a comparatively better Election Commission. (so on and on and on...)

Mr.Paracha & Company are always always unhappy and annoyed, up there ranting in their "as ever" mood.
For the name of Lord, WHAT ON THE EARTH IS WRONG WITH YOU GUYS?! May be it was not an ideal post to write about you Mr. Paracha but then I wanted to ask you this since long now. Yes its a bit too much asking all those questions to Election Candidates and lets not talk about "The Ideology of Pakistan" debate but whatever I mentioned above are not the basics? the very very basics?  are not the number of candidates who could not tell on Kulmaa'z from Jamaat e Islaami? Are they not the same people who tell you to cover your head, offer your prayers, and not mas****ate? are they not the same people who will sit in Parliment and legislate ? where do they stand? Why this fuss over asking the candidates the very basic questions? Forget about the 'a bit too much" type of questions here, but seriously whats wrong if you ask them about the basics? Do I not have this right being a citizen of this state to have this desire about  knowing more about the people I am going to select and send to sit in the Parliment representing me!? Oh yes I do have this right Mr. P

I have every right under the constitution of Pakistan to ask for whatever I deem right to the candidate that is going to represent me via my vote in the National Assembly of Paksitan. You have any problem with that? Yes the way could be wrong, but not the questions, criticise in good spirit just once, if you could. I wish I could request ECP to include you & your League in their "How to Do it right" committee so that we may know what solution do you have. Though I doubt if you have any solution for any of the problems you keep on blustering about. *No Offence intended*

Yes this is big, the first successful five years terms of a democratic governement in ^60 years, and so is everything else, the first (comparatively) independent Election Commission, the first ever THIRD PARTY factor in pakistani politics, and the first ever attempt of ECP to secrutinize the candidate. This might not be the best strategy but at least there is an effort. Will you bother notice that already? All the other nations have learned via Trial & Error method, but it their same trying trying again until they have the right way of doing things that served them well. Why cant it be the same for us?

So Dear Mr. Paracha & Company , spare the basics and talk about fake degrees and fake tax-records and fake assets reports, yes you guys are more educated under every definition of education for us poor ignorant ordinary Pakistanis which gives you every right to be tagged as "Liberals" but do no kindly forget that no matter how vaguely we, the common ones, appear over the surface, that does not snatch our right to tell you how do we feel about it. You want to help? Please enlighten the ones in the present system over their strategy and for once at least, stop criticizing for good. Talk about a better Scrutinizing system than not having a system at all, will you? 

Friday, January 4, 2013

Oh Yes I Missed You Like Hell

  Hello! *Smiles* Its been ages I posted last,I missed this place like hell, I have been busy with life,rather stuck would be a better word here.I still am stuck but then I thought To Hell With Everything! I need my space back,So here i am guys, back with a splash!

I don't know how many of you know this exactly but this year, it is exceptionally, unbelievably and madly Cold in Lahore.I mean its simply too much and then for somebody like me (and by that i mean somebody too vulnerable for cold) this is too big.Actually its not cold that is an issue alone, its the absence of all the must ingredients that is troubling us.Now I don't plan to make this post a grumpy one with all this whining about Gas, Load shedding , Shitty Politics, Clumsy media and what not! No I don't intend that.Lets talk about something worth talking about as the photo above suggests.

It has been a beautiful day indeed, it did not seem this way when I woke up this morning,Oh and speaking of that here, it did not seem that way in the first part of the day.I woke up to a Load-Shaded Morning..Umm yeah I  invented this term, Then there was no hot water,Gas Load shedding too, and then NO WATER at all! All annoyed, I thought to give my Aunt in the Neighbourhood a call to ask if I could take a shower at her place since it was Friday too, While I was trying to get into my room, the handle looked jam and the door stuck, that will be a lie if I say, I  was patient with it,Iwas annoyed,remember? while "Try Try Again My Kola-Puri" in my head, Ipushed it and pulled it all at the same time and the next thing I know, I was standing there with the sophisticated golden handle in my hand while the door still closed right on my face,Yes the handle came off just like that,OK! I made it come off just like that.Whatever.

You can imagine the rest, there I was, just woke up, without attending to the basic needs of the morning even, all starving, with no water, no light, no gas and no phone, a door handle instead was all I got. I should be in a very nasty mood but to my great surprise, after all that sorted out, I was sitting on Terrace enjoying the So Not Enjoyable Fog, I had this moment with myself, I had a quick flashback of my life all these months and I asked myself if something was missing,You know the answer? It was simple, everything was there, the people, the commitments, the liabilities, the rights, the painfully  consistent routine of my life, everything was there except me.I was missing in the picture.I tried to look so hard but all I could see were others.It had been all about others in the previous some months and that too The Unhappy Others. I wonder why do we end up with thankless, ruthless, merciless faces around us but then may be that's what we are for others in the same way.Its a selfish little world after all.

I missed my space, like every one of you out there, I value this, cherish this, I have been away but never did I forget this.I have missed my connection with everyone of you our there, You guys are part of my space,you guys know a lot more about me then the real people around me in my real world, I don't have to act strong here, I can just be myself, whoever i am.I need my space back,I need to get back with you guys.I hope you still remember me...so  Can I join you again? Tell me yes so that I could say its a beautiful beautiful day today.

Oh and a very very Happy New Year to everybody out there...


Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Break Break

Hello Everybody, just dropped here to tell you that I am going to get busy in my upcoming examinations and I will be off this page for a couple of days now.yeah I know I was being waited here desperately but sorry guys I was too busy for that..Those who took the pain to respond to my second last post with such a ZEAL are thanked from the bottom of my heart (Nopes! em not being Sarcastic! you are getting Skeptic :p) I will get back to you guys soon so yeah in the mean while what you can do is forget the silly stuff and wish me Luck for my exams..I will be back soon inshaALLAH..Take care every one..