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Saturday, June 25, 2011

Attack! This could be the Last Meal Of Your Life

  I was invited at one of my close friend's Nikah Ceremony last night.After going through this painfully irritating session of "getting ready for a function in 45 degree", I finally reached there.A beautiful banquet Hall , nice gathering, breathtakingly pretty Bride, and so many good faces to look at! What else you need to enjoy a Function?! But then came the Big moment! Suddenly the gathering got scattered....actually there was this insurgency that quickly captured the whole Hall...I first thought that Its the Fire Alarm and ofcourse people are running to save their lives, I looked for my sister in despair ..


*OMG what if I cant find her! muma will shoot me in the head!*
 was the only thing that my mind was repeating and repeating until I caught a glimpse of her, I literally rushed towards her, held her by hand and headed towards the Exit Gate in a hurry, I had to stop when my sister pulled me back and asked "where are you going api?"..I looked back and answered her patiently  "cant you see, everyone is running for his life, its the fire alarm I guess"......and the reply that I got from my sister was...


"DUh!!!! what fire alarm! are you insane? its the call for dinner...ROTI KHUL GAI HAI pagal"
and it was only then that I realized that people were actually running towards the adjacent hall not to the Exit door...*oh!!!! my bad! how come I not notice that before...damn I'm getting absent-minded!*......


Quite embarrassed, I walked towards the dining hall with my sister..and Behold!!!! wow! what was that! I rubbed my eyes to have a clear vision...People that were looking like the most Sophisticated souls on this whole planet were transformed into something else...no no wait..let me narrate it more precisely for you..the Crowd that was like the most Self-behaved , Educated, Sophisticated moments ago, was turned into Ethiopians! Almost all of them!......I hope you have a lot to relate with this...


"ok! as I have accompanied you here, so you will have to return me the favor, go and get us something to eat." it was my sister who elbowed me and brought me back in reality with an almost Mission impossible to accomplish....I cast a look of "oh plz dont make me do this..plz plz plz" at her...but she, without showing any sign of mercy, moved to sit in a corner ...I took a deep breath...
 * ok..relax mishi! you know there is no way that you can avoid this...you will have to do this,,your young little sister is starving..go ,get her something to eat you MOron*...


I advanced towards one of the tables, surrounded, yet attacked by people from all sides...tried to have my way when I was pushed back so hard that I almost lost my balance....I quickly gained my balance back and searched for the "ill-mannered freak"...It was a girl of my age but double my size..she was pushing everyone  aside that tried to stand by her side in order to approach the food on the table.I felt an instant intense mean desire to kick her with all my tiny tiny power so that she may have all the  Chicken Korma to herself...*Moti kahen ki*...


.After standing there sometime and failing to have a safe edge to advance, I changed my position and moved  again, this time a success! I quickly looked for the plate and grabbed it , there were hands everywhere on the table,,it was battle of Grabing the plates, getting as much qorma in your  plate as you can and to have the most of the Boti-es of baryani...I was trying  to have my stand over Chicken Korma when suddenly Another push! and I found myself out of the circle again....Astonished ,I looked for the bully...Haa! she was a middle-aged Aunti, with her sleeves folded, she literally pushed everyone aside to get the place for her and her daughter, I stared at the empty plate in my hand and cursed the moment I decided to bring my sister with me, If it were only me, There was no way that I would have gone to join these Somalians..I would have preferred to not eat at all or wait until everyone is done with the Plate-filling process....


I went in another direction this time and found a whole corner to myself, Korma was right in my approach I had some of  it in plate, grabbed a naan and the moment I was about to turn, Another push and my plate was almost spilled on me...already half plate was now even half! the half of the Korma was shining on my brand new fancy Frock! Angry like anything , I looked for my culprit, it was another Aunti with two  filled plates of almost everything of the menu in both her hands,.


"oh sorry! nothing to worry about, the spot will go away in one washing, trust me"..


.and before I could THANK her for her advice, she walked away....I clenched my teeth, wished I could spill the rest of my Korma on her Saari and return her the same Advice....Damn Washing Powders with their Damn same-situation commercials ....


I  went back, managed to get some more Korma (remember I was so angry this time, so Nobody could push me aside) some of the baryani too this time and reached at my sister's table.."there you go".....I was about to sit when I heard " and the Cold drink? where is the cold drink? you know I cant eat such a heavy food without 7up".....I looked at her, took my that evening's number 14th deep breath and marched towards the Cold drink stand...there were kids all over it...they were trying to have two cold-drinks at the same time....every child had two drinks in his hands...I grabbed "the Damn 7up" and turned back when there came a very loud splash behind me...I looked back and found a kid taking shower in the water tub right next to the cold-drink stand, of-course the kid got greedy par limit and was trying to have a third cold-drink when he landed in that tub....The waiters rushed for his help..and I left for my table with mean smile on my face...*I know it must be the kid of that sari wali Aunti, only that lady can give birth to such a greedy little chick*....


The rest of the meal was ok...I shared a bit with my sister and was almost coming back to my normal mood when She pointed towards another stand..I followed the lead..."sweet dish! api plz..you know I love ice-cream"....and before I could go to get it for her, I told her this is the last time I have taken her to anywhere....


After I reached the Sweet-dish stand, I discovered that It was not my sister alone, Almost all of those Ethoipians loved ice-cream! I moved further, this time all determined to meet my goal and there I saw that sari wali aunti again..she was right in front of me....I raced my mind to think of a Revenge plan on her but before I could think of anything...another Moti Aunti moved in the circle and pushed that sari wali Aunti aside , that Saari wali Aunti got offended and pushed the pusher back! Before anybody could understand anything....
the  Saari wali Aunti was lying straight on the ground with Qulfa Ice-cream all over her! It turned out that the other lady was a bigger Bully then the poor saari wali Aunti...People rushed towards her..helped her stand on her feet again..I had my ice-cream, walked back to my sister and When I was controlling my smiles and laughs,,I had a look on the nearby tables...And my smile Vanished...Almost every table was filled with plates that were still full of food....


precious food !!! there were naans badly mutilated, Korma half left half eaten, untouched buryani yet with no booti-es....MY god that was a disastrous sight! I felt a deep pain in my chest...Out of no where, Flashed  in my mind some scenes of a Documentary about Starving people in Somalia. I was not smiling anymore...I tried to find one single table with comparatively less destruction but NO! I couldnt...It was a common sight in the hall....people after having the last meals of their lives were leaving for their homes.We had our last hello with the bride and headed out..I was confused now, din know either to smile on the "tit for tat"thingy with the Saari wali Aunti or or feel sad for the wastage of that food that mattered so much for some people some where on this planet!



























35 comments:

  1. Mishi, your sense of humour is commendable.
    Indeed, there is a lesson for all of us:
    Always watch out to avoid any panic situation. Especially in Public places - pl stay united with siblings specially the vulnerable ones under all circumstances.
    “Greed is a curse” and wasting food is even worse.
    Selfishness at individual or collective level is immoral. We should live for others as well.
    The problem is - we are devoid of manners, and the culprit is the parents of course for not being role models for their children during their teen years resulting in the production of “ill-mannered youth and adults” in a large quantity with no quality whatsoever.
    Our nation should be behaving with excellent manners but that element is almost missing, because the parents have been failing to be role models for their kids.
    Sadly, this is a “never ending scenario.”
    We should learn how to be humanitarian to discourage scenarios such as NAFSAA NAFSEE in SHADI HALL.
    SACRIFICE is the word------

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  2. hahahaaa....it took several minutes to control my laughter...enjoyed it thoroughly, it was like sitting in a corner i am watching all this wrestling going on there......was actually looking for the foto of that frock with "modern art" done with the Korma and would have loved to have a glimpse of ur Saari wali aunty lying on the ground with kulfa in her one hand, i am sure "VOH KULFA UNKE HAATH ME BILKUL MAHFOOZ HOGA..... did you rhymed it that moment..."Humpti Dumpti had a great fall"....:P

    well, on the serious note food wastage is really something which should be avoided by each n every one..... in fact i had read some where that Pakistan has got a rule of "one dish in weddings".....


    PS: i had also tried a post on food wastage some times back.....
    http://irfanurs.blogspot.com/2011/05/food-of-thought.html

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  3. @Tariq I agree with every bit you said!
    @Irfanuddin...hehehehee yes I tried to capture that modern art but as it was spoiled badly.so we had to give it a washing asap...and the Saari wali Aunti! she was something! I was not having ma cell phone with me there..and trust meI regretted that a lot!!!!! it would have been real fun to have her photo in that pose..hehehe
    and yes I would love to read your post...there was One dish thing here...but ban is lifted these days...

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  4. Lmfo
    You are hilariously funny.I have witnessed these things so many times,you are right people are brutal when it comes to wasting the food

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  5. way to go buddy.. that was hilarious!
    One more thing.. I can't help but follow you ;)

    http://vj-menon.blogspot.com/

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  6. Hi Mishi,

    Oh my, what a mess! :-) I admired your thoughts on that last paragraph there. You are right, we should be more respectful of food because in other parts of the world a food feast is not even a thought. Survival is.

    I enjoyed cruising down your blog page. Thank you for this pleasure. God bless you.

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  7. @Ellen..thankyou so much for visiting Ellen..em truly honored:-)

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  8. Perhaps it is one of the places where we can see all our high class society flaunting their ability of earning extra food which they can throw and waste at their own wish without realizing how many deserving people might be sleeping without food that night.

    A touching post. And a very valid point.

    Cheers,
    Blasphemous Aesthete

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  9. @asthete thank you so much for visiting:-)

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  10. hehehe.. quite funny, In India we don't have such creepy things going on in a wedding and all ceremonies are fun-filed joyous, a must to attend. And, that roti khul gayi hai was amazingly funny. :)

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  11. we dont have much for a function..its different here..but this post was basically about wastage of food..which happens every where..creepy or no creepy, dznt matter:-)
    btw thankz for stopping by..you have a nice blog,:)

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  12. very nice mishi,couldn't stop laughing..your sense of humor is so good...
    I can relate to one of our aunties to your Sari wali aunties...Damn these aunties...
    very well captured!

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  13. @Mishi, very funny. Did it really happen? Is it normal?

    BTW, I never eat at weddings.

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  14. @harman...hehehehe I knew it...such Aunties are everywhere.....you cant just escape them!;p

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  15. @A....let me explain that to you...unlike weddings in India...weddings here are boring...there is just one Mehndi function,,rest of the wedding is usually boring..coz we dont have the Dance and celebration thing a part of it..nt that much..so food is the main item of the main item of the wedding....

    now the hustle bustle thing, actually its mainly due to mis-management ...people are more in numbers..food stalls are few...then they start the meal session quite late..its not every where but most of the time, the mis-management is the reason..I was so captivated by the incidents of the weddings that I kindda missed mentioning these things...but sadly it happens..if there is no hustle bustle, even if people are not pushing each other to get food,,,still they waste it....this was mainly about Wastage Of Food....which I'm sure you must have witnessed too in some way...

    Btw I also dont eat on weddings..it so happens that after attending a wedding function, I have my dinner at my place...the sight of so much food kills my appetite;p

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  16. O very interesting and extremly funny. Imagine i am sitting in my office infront of lcd laughing alone at this very event. Awesome =D good start of the day with a good show and with even bigger message in the end.

    I hope we try to teach this to common people out there. Dont waste food it matters really.
    take care.

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  17. hahahaha...i always wanted to write something about this situation...thanks you put it here... i don't know why we people are so impatient about meal and food stuff especially in such gatherings... be it wedding or aftar party or any such occasion and we end up in a mess :( Once i went to a conference organized by a very respectable medical college and i thought the students there were all elite...but came the refreshements and i was shocked to see the rush and irresponsible attitude of the student...so much that the chief guest was left without eating anything because people literally rob him of his food :(

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  18. oh wasting food is really sad!
    wedding xperienc tho is pretty dramatic, i mus say. so much happenin in so lil tym!

    in india weddings r a lot more pleasant n especially if its sum1 frm family den it simply is an event to remembr fr life.
    in d south tho, dey r less fun n ppl cum plainly to eat food so d whole deal is over by abt 10pm (!!!!)

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  19. @humaira...em glad It put a smile on your face:-) yes humaira we badly need to do this..food wastage should not be acceptable..people should know more about it..but this is something that can be done with a clear understanding and sense of responsibility only..of course we cant force pple to not waste the food...we will have to make people realize this slow and steady.we will have to talk about it, as I always say...Khamoshi ka BYE-COT!

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  20. @Israr..hahahaha I know exactly how the chief guest must be feeling that moment...I have also seen this happening some where...;p

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  21. @said..thankz for stopping by:-)

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  22. Hilarious !A meal to die for . Nice read Missi .I enjoyed my visit here.

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  23. very nice... great sense of humor ..
    मेरी नयी पोस्ट पर आपका स्वागत है : Blind Devotion - सम्पूर्ण प्रेम...(Complete Love)

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  24. Mishi,

    Weddings are boring in Pakistan. That is strange. From what I know there is not much difference between Indians and Pakistani people and culture.

    May be you need to write a post on typical Pakistani wedding.

    Simply Speaking "A" Simple Blogger

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  25. I loved this post.Hilarious.
    This is a common scene here.We have medical conferences and gatherings ,often at the best hotels,but people are the same when they see food.Just yesterday,we had a small party at the clinic and I saw many doctors packing the food to take home! I wish they could do the same every day, to show their affection for the family,spending their own money.People just fall for anything that is free.

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  26. :) the title itself made me blush and i knew what am gonna get out of it...

    excellent post and concerne,... we all humans, dunno why, when and what will change us...

    nice read..

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  27. Mishi,

    Read all current posts. Women not only are to be given equal rights but also treated with more respect as they are the ones who can make or break a person. I full y agree on that quote about teaching. Any relationship to be healthy needs those involved to give space to other. However it would have been sweet of you to call up later and say you were busy and would call up later. We surely need to do something about delays in disposal of cases in courts. Some time limit and curbs on delay tactics adopted by lawyers need to be taken. Politician will make very tall claims forgetting that each thing can be verified. May God bless Laila. May she have happiness in her life always. On this one, I fully agree with you that people behave like starved animals, if you permit me to say so. I had written a post on the same issue long ago as Want Not Waste Not.

    Take care

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  28. @sm...thankz..em glad you like it.
    @Sachin ...thankz for visiting,,em jus going to explore your blog too..
    @A...yes they are!!!! they are very boring here...I will defntly write a post on a typhcl wdding in pakistan..
    @Doc....I have no words how happy I was to see you comment on my post..thankyou so much for visiting my page...plz keep reading and keep commenting...suggestions coming from some one like you mean a lot to me:-)
    @Bhargave..hahaha..yeh I name it so pple could guess wot its about..thankz dear

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  29. @Jack....awww these were the best comments on all my posts sir..thankyou so much for reading them all and then summing them up in such a good way...I am already following your blog and I will defntly read your post abt food waste....keep visiting :-)

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  30. hahahahahahahahaahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahah, I cannot even breath coz of laughing this hard , you are so funny, where did you get this sense of humor? its 101% correct, people change into MOrons when it comes to food and trust me its every where

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  31. @misfit..hey breathe plz;p thankz:)

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