hmmmm...how bad it feels when one of your friends accuses you of being "too busy to answer her phone or reply her taxt!"
Very bad indeed....very very bad.....Friends have been defined ages ago as some body who understands you, knows you in and out, stands by you when you are left alone by everybody else.....they are the most valued people is every sensible person's life....and so are they in mine...its not that em claiming to be a SENSIBLE person but its true anyways..Any person even with an average common sense would understand this..and so do I.....
Its nothing except that I forgot to reply to a close friend's calls and msgs....it happens with everybody..right? we are busy some times or we are annoyed over something or we are just having our 'mood swings'...so its normal! right?
What pinched me is the way I reacted to her 'purely justified' complain! To my greatest surprise, I got annoyed!!!
Instead of saying sorry to her...I kept quiet...which of-course irritated her more....I felt betrayed by her complaining...she was the one who has been so close to me in the previous months...she was well aware of all my issues..my problems,,,my mood-swings...still she accused me of ignoring her....oh yes I know she must have thought I am acting busy as she deliberately checks my Facebook status daily , just to have this confirmation that "oh yes em ignoring her..and interacting with the whole world EXCEPT her!!"
I hope you got it...! now its not that....yes em interacting with people on daily basis on facebook..em updating my blog....em doing things that she knows em doing..still I dont call her back ..worst! I dont even reply her msgs..but will somebody understand my point?
The people that I interact are not my close friends....they dont know my issues..Its not that I'm having other friends...they are just friends..I dont expect them to understand my issues...so what if I din reply her back? why din she think that I might need some space! we all do need some space at some point ...when you dont feel like having those intimate conversations...when you are too busy solving your personal issues..
when you just want to talk to yourself and nobody else! its not that I have forgotten her or something..no I havent..and I will never forget what she has done for me all these years..and I hate myself for being this mean to her...but I cant help it....
The moment I'm writing this, I'm realizing that I have been very unfair to her...yes I need my space but maybe she needs me more...there has to be something ....I should have given her a call as first thing in the morning...and I will after like another a day or two..
but tell me somethin I'm I truly a mean person?...is it too much to ask for your personal space? or its simply selfish of me to kept her waiting..letting her feel annoyed..I could have sent her one simple msg stating that I'm having my worst bad mood-swings and will contact her asap! oh Lord..I am a bad person! a very very bad person/...somebody please shoot me in the head:-(