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Monday, July 4, 2011

Facebookaholic or Escapist?



 It was the start of my professional career after I had my University Degree when I was introduced to the world of Information technology in a different way altogether... The word "Social Networking" was not new for me...I had been on Orkut and Hi5 back in my university days and the experience was not bad at all! It was cool how you checked your PROFILE VIEWERS and make your friends write your TESTIMONIALS.. It was fun ..but nothing excessive in it,,,not to the extent of Wasting time! It was the time when Facebook was not invented yet,,Life was all peaceful without anxiety of " what should be my new Status message!"..


Then everything changed with two words joined together as FACE+BOOK....Thus the world witnessed even the most book-allergic people all dangled up to this new social networking site.


I was too busy to notice this new invention but it was only after one and half year that I had to pay attention to this word..Being an English  Language Instructor, I had to deal with a variety of different people..all flavors mixed together at the same place..there were Teen-agers, Professionals, House-wives, University Students, Done with education but still unemployed Youth and some Senior Citizens too....The experience was out of this world..Tho I was the one who was teaching them but I had something new to learn myself every day...It was then that I noticed the change in the youth segment of my Language Groups..they were talking about their experiences of social networking more and more now.In their daily presentations while talking about their routines , there was this new addition.."then I checked my Facebook account before I went to sleep"...
I was getting interested in it now..


Then I witnessed another change..Now on talking to people around, I was confronted with this question right before "Good-bye"..On meeting new people, after having those friendly intimate initial talks, when it used to come on "Stay In Touch" part...it was suddenly enhanced with another small part which said "Hey ! Are you on FaceBook?"....My answer was always a big NO..which earned me that "Really!!" loud and  that "Poor Ignorant Soul!" Look!
Then the reaction was more verbal..On my saying 'NO' ..people shouted "Are you serious? Everybody is on Facebook!! How come not you!" ....and I was like "Goli mar do na mujay phir!" ..(Shoot me for that then! )


When it got unbearable, I decided to take the bull by the Horns and all angry, went to check it while I was on internet that night..I followed the instruction and made myself an account there, became a part of that  perhaps most famous ' Blue/White ' combination.
To tell you honestly, I was excited too...I felt revived on becoming part of something that was becoming a part of daily life...As a matter of face, I felt myself  5 years younger then my exact age;p


Now the Facebook experience began..The very first thing that I confronted was "Status Message"..I dint know it was that important to inform people that "Mahvish Tahira is....doing this and doing that at this very moment!! I was amazed on people changing their status that rapidly.It seemed World's biggest problem to have a unique status message, this compelled people to invent  some of the most hilarious one-linessuch as..


* x "is busy pulling his gf's hairs for cheating on him."


* x" is clenching her teeth for her Beautician has charged her extra for a simple plucking job."


* x "is thinking to go for Loo."


* x is poking you with a spork.


* x is going to dark side, they have candies!


* x is out walking her pet fish.


 And the list goes on and on and on..Then I found myself practicing the sacred rituals of facebook..Coming up with most Unbelievable One-lines for my status message, to have more and more "Like+s"  on your postings got me thrilled too....Honestly speaking, there is nothing that an important activity to do on your Fb account until and unless you have some Thousand people added as your friends,,,it will of-course take some time to comment on their status one by one.but nothing important otherwise...I mean just log in, check the "most recent".... Change your Profile photo, Comment on others status, change your status, upload a video from Youtube and You are bored already!! But still people spend hours on Fb...doing nothing..exactly nothing!




 I was going through this research the other day which said, by the way it was conducted under University of California, so it said You are Facebook addict IF...


1-you spend more then an hour on it daily.
2-you ignore your job or work for it.
3-the thought of going a day without facebook gives you stress or anxiety.
4-you keep on thinking about your next status message.
5-if you are loosing your sleep over it.


Well according to the research, these symptoms if present should get you worried for becoming a Social-networking addict but according to my very own Personal Theory , These are five clues that should tell you that you are changing from Facebookaholic to Escapist...Yes you got me right! 


Escapist is the word to describe this addiction in a more precise manner, People tend to spend time on computers more and more then participating in their Real Lives....You want to check your Fb account as "The first thing in the morning" simply because you don't want to think all the tough things that you got to do that day...Social Networking is a heavenly place where there are no Liabilities , no responsibilities , no pressures , no expectations, no 'changing the Baby Diapers', or ' cooking the food exact on time' , or no 'dealing with your painfully nagging mother-in-law, no complaining wife, or careless husband, or creepy siblings, nothing of this sort!
Its all peace there...just click on the magic 'Log in' and you are pulled away from the Real Cruel Selfish Bitchy World for all the good in the World....


Don't get me wrong, I am not against the Great Information technology or a Die-hard Fanatic against increasing interference of Cyber-Socialization in Personal Life Style.Not at all! I am one of you..don't get me wring..I'm the one who spends more then one hour on Fb daily, I'm the one who needs all the rehabilitation in the world for being Facebook Addict, but there is one thing that keeps on pinching me since I came to know that last week my sister younger to me was going through a lot of stress..and I mean "serious kind of stress"here....she is having problems with her Fiance and she was dealing  with it all alone...


When it got disclosed the other day when she burst into crying that left all of us shocked and worried like hell, I asked her "Why on the earth You din't tell me? I'm Your eldest sister, damn it"...and she while still crying, looked up to me and "You were too busy for that!"...


That left me speechless...I don't want you to hear my family stories here, but I'm a very caring eldest sister to my siblings..we used to sleep in the same bedroom, all four of us,,( we are four sisters and one bro mashALLAH)   ..I still remember how they used to fight to tell their story of the day first..I used to listen to their whole daily "what we did today"thing  before going to sleep..Then things got changes..We were suddenly grown-ups...I missed that communication a lot..I complained they don't tell me much now...But then I had my own life too..But this particular incident shook me inside out...We still sleep on the same bed in the same room...Two of us..How come I could'nt notice her Swollen eyes..How come I could'nt figure out that something was wrong with her..


But now I remember, I was truly too busy talking to people sitting thousands miles from me, busy in listening to their problems, solving their issues , giving them advices that they needed most, consoling them ,  and telling them that I will  always be there for them !!!

53 comments:

  1. even blogging is somewhat similar.


    Weakest Link

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  2. well said mishi, we truly are getting addicted to this networking thing, I hate to say this but I am a facebookaholic too,and I totally agree with your perception of being escapist out of this addiction .claps btw..you write too good, I just come here to check your reads:-)

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  3. yes we need an escape from the cruel world , these are all means to have an escape, we communicate with people of far off lands and neglect those who live with us under one same roof.

    I agree with Adil Shah , your writing is good and its improving with every single new post.keep it up:-)

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  4. You are right, and it is a strange thing that we find it easy to offer solutions to people whom we don't quite know, and the near and dear ones for whom we fear the most, the mind goes blank. :)

    Nice post, but I still ain't getting off facebook, its holidays :D

    Cheers,
    Blasphemous Aesthete

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  5. a very very nice post mishi, you have a nice name and you write beautifully;-)

    I agree with every word you wrote here.we need to have a break from this social networking for a while and pay attention to those around us.

    carry one:-)

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  6. a very convincing thought indeed. as I have loggd in after so many days so I will comment on all your posts read just now here,

    I agree with I.C.C thing, lets hope if it works for us, you know how it is in Pakistan they arrange somehow to make everything work their way but anyways it was a nice read. frankly I din't know that.

    Connection was a beautiful post, I loved it so much. you reminded me one of my uncle who was known for his self-talk which subjected his communications with Allah. You are a brilliant writer.why don you try writing in some newspapers?

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  7. the one post that was about wastage of food in weddings I laughed so hard .I agree with what you said in the end

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  8. hhmmmmm.... that's it Mishi, the technology has brought us on a crossroad, when we like to spend hours n hours on "FACEBOOK", whereas earlier we loved talking with our dear ones "FACT2FACE"....

    A thought provoking post!!!

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  9. i agree with Irfanuddin word by word.And mishi keep it up you write too good.I do not come here that often but I like to read your posts

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  10. nice read. i wish v cud ponder over it more honestly.good work mishi

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  11. this woz exctly wot i wos thinkin d other day.u r rite. nice read

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  12. n dat goli mar do na mjy phiir woz extrmly funny

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  13. hey...like it or not...want it or not...Facebook is kinda hard to ignore..ofcourse priorities need to be set out though!

    your journey into the fb world is soooo well described:-)

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  14. You totally pulled the bull by the horn and dragged it out. Very nice piece of writing ..YET AGAIN.

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  15. Most probably, an addiction of “being Face-bookaholic” or resorting to “escapism” from the real world–could be conditions of poorly aligned attitude.
    Such conditions are contagious, as these might be carrying a few germs of extremism. Excess of everything is bad.
    Beyond doubt, a middle lane of the road is always the best one to take as you can steer easily as needed. I am talking about policy of moderation (definitely, not enlightened moderation).
    According to some people, face book stands for (fazool baat), because it is almost impossible to evaluate the truth of the shared information due to the likelihood of “camouflaged insincerity” of some people on fb.
    However, the way it is set up, sometimes-you feel compelled to disclose your own very personal info without even realizing the dire consequences.
    You may get robbed—who knows?
    On the good side, it may be an effective remedy and tool to nab the criminals indeed.
    Other than that - it is a waste of time.
    And, “Time is money” –which should be utilized more economically of course.
    Near and dear ones should get preference over the social net work of friends. That’s a must.
    Bottom line is – Be it face book or any other net working tool, use it wisely to extract the maximum juice for the benefit of your dear ones as well as for your own advantage. Be there for your friends too.
    A friend in need is a friend in deed.
    Mishi!
    Good luck-you have good points for your audience---Keep writing.
    [http:tariqmian.blogspot.com]

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  16. i love this post..n i really dunno wat's left to comment more on it..just dat i m slowly moving out of the Fb charm !

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  17. "Goli mar do na mujay phir!" ..(Shoot me for that then! )
    ...." your last para.."
    koi kyun marne laga, when such things happen, we feel like shooting our own self...
    it was "Humorously serious"... we are loosing our ownself at times carried away due to social networking ending up in a mess...

    but am sure... you will eye the way out easily...

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  18. @Rachit..yes blogging is same, even worse then facebook addiction.. i can live without checking my fb account bt not without checking my blog.my blog is my life ;p

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  19. @Adil..aww thats so nice of you to say that..I just write ok..I know;) thankz for the compliment and keep reading me;)

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  20. @jalal..I'm truly flattered by your compliment..this is my nick name..I hope you must have read my real name in my profile!

    you have a nice name too:-) hehe yeh em trying to balancing it now;p

    thankz buddy..just keep reading and keep visiting.

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  21. @Dilwar..hmmmmmm you have really dropped by after so many days..but the visit was all good:)

    em glad you liked all my recent posts.. and the newspaper thing! well you know how it is with newspaper here..they have a policy to follow..they kindda put u in a box..em happy here..its my own blog, i set my own rules and polcies to follow..it gives me a sense of freedom that those newspapers out there cant gve..when i have readers like you, why should think about newspaper huh?;p

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  22. @misfit..a dozen thankz to you:)

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  23. @aesthete...hehe yeh even I cant get off it even after happening so much lately ...its just I have set some rules to follow now..I will take it easy now;p

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  24. @Irfanuddin...thankz for reading and commenting:-)

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  25. @fatima..thankz sweetheart..its kind of you to consider my posts for reading:)
    @misbah ..thankz buddy
    @nazia..thankz:):)

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  26. @suruchi..yes you are right..love it or hate it bt we cant ignore it..and i have set my priorities now:)

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  27. @Aimen..awww you are my one loyal and sweet reader..thankz dear for reading my every post with same interest every time:)

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  28. @tariq...what to say!! you always sum up my post in your own interesting style..I loved your comment..and you are one of my most valued audience too...keep encouraging me hamesha...and I have learnt my lesson..i will never disappoint any of my family member because of my silly busy virtual life, thats a promise that I made with maself and I will keep it:)

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  29. @bhargav sweet bhargav...thankoo for reading;)

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  30. @Cargirl..thankyou ..em getting out of it too:)

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  31. That was well written. But I know many girls who had problems from these kind of forums.People often do not reveal their identity and enter in to relationships. Everything is good,but everything can be bad as well.

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  32. @antony....yes I would agree with u over this problem thing...girls do have problms ..wot I wrote here was not abt talking to strangers ...fb is a place where u cn connect with your frends living far off places..bt ths was nt the main subjct here...wot i wanted to talk abt was how we neglct pple around us for those who are miles apart from us....they could be strangers as well as your old frends.

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  33. very nice post...Fb was very popular...in North America..few years back ..I made my A/c on FB ,but was never active...Then came a boom when it became extremely popular...all relatives and friends were there...so I felt good to see my cousins ,friends and uncles on fb after yrs...it was good..
    everything had its own flaws which cannot be ignored...I had seen people getting divorced due to Fb...chatting and later getting into relationship...
    I am an active user of fb now ...But chatting I usually switch off it effects my work and persona,...Cuz most of my friends are complete strangers:)I avoid that ...
    Orkut was popular among Asians ..at one time I had lot of friends there too..But the whole point is Do we really need so many unknown friends? and time to spare to all this unmeaning-ful conversation ...choice is yours!

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  34. Did you send any request on fb? I am kinda confused...cuz I saw this name and couldn't recognise!!

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  35. To every coin there is another side, may be we tend to notice the 'other' side more!

    * x "is thinking to go for Loo."

    *Like* ;)

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  36. @Harman...agreed! choice is always ours! its jus we avoid making it..and the request things..nah I din..em aint using fb much these days..as Rachit said blogging is an addiction too...and it seems its my next addiction;p

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  37. @Sourav...haha at your 'like'....yes to the coin thing bt u see it was written in a general perspctve:)

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  38. Loved the post.....esp. bcoz i too was a latecomer on fb....and had my own all those - 'poor ignorant soul' moments.....yes! social networking is turning like an addiction....and the youngsters have a big impact of these things!

    But I guess this too will end up like a fad....very well written Mishi. And I hope you sister is all good now.

    Take Care

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  39. @jigyasa...thankz for dropping by..and yes my sis is fine now...em all there for her now:)

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  40. am addicted now... silence hurts... awaiting your new HUMOROUSLY SERIOUS BLAST

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  41. @bhargav..lolz...em jus a bit bz..ma mother wasnt at home..so had to do all the kitchen stuff for family, she is back now so hope to write something new soon inshALLAH:-)

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  42. do visit.. chk and revert to change if mistake ..new post..

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  43. phew! i read the post in one breath - almost! the post was as interesting as the subject about which it was written.
    btw, love ur profile pic. esp after reading ur location in ur profile
    hope to come here more often & wanting to read the rest of ur posts too

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  44. @Bhargav..sure I will..
    @Sujatha..thankz for reading and welcome to my space:-)
    @Stranger....hey where you? I kindda missed your comments:)

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  45. Lol, interesting post!

    Yes, we have reached a stage where FB (and now G+) has a strangle-hold on our life and everything in it and also provides the much-needed *rolls eyes* escapism that we, as human beings, seem to be adept at...

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  46. Facebook is indeed an interesting social networking site. And tops everybody else in that category. And the latest is that one can do a chat with the webcam. Gets better and better, doesn't it?

    I'm on fb too. But I don't put down every nitty-gritty detail of my day or feelings or happenings on the status line. I consider that not for public consumption. Instead I put up mini blogs, writing about stuff of general interest. So much a shorter version of my regular blog. :-) It works just as well.

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  47. welldone mishi...yup there are some people who change their status messages every couple of minutes.. X is making breakfast..X is having breakfast. X is going to work..X reached office...X is sad..X is waiting...bla bla bla... :) i wonder if somebody would be that much interested in following each and every status message of every body ..

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  48. @Israr,,,lolz yeh i wonder this too..as if pori dunya ko aur koi kam nai sawaie ye jananay kay k what r u upto now!;p

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  49. All this happened because of communication gap not because of social-network like FB,this means that there is no sufficient amount of communication between you and your sis, so there is insufficient transfer of emotions and other stuff.

    on other hand an other reason is that we more like living in fake world (social network / internet etc) then this Real fake world

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