the dilemma of bringing up boys
So peoples the post em going to write today is based on a personal problem,,a domestic Issue...hmm yeah its about my Bro...my only bro who was born to my Parents after 4 daughters..(No doubt My parents tried really hard to have a son;p)
Khair so the issue is my bro...hmmm well when he was growing up , we had no intention to spoil him ..In fact we tried our level best NOT TO SPOIL...but having only son has its side-effects so it did cost us some of those side-effects..Now the issue is not that he is Spoiled..he is not..he still is much much better then his age-fellows..he doesnt go out much..he has good company..the thing is his changing behavior...we find it kinda difficult to keep the pace with the speedy variations..
He is giving us real trouble these days..he is youngest and em the eldest..we have age-gape of almost 10 years..he is my baby and I have literally brought him up with my mother..but things started to change when he turned 16..he challenges my Authority now..he somehow has realized that he is the Only son and he should be Boss not his Api..he is 18 now mashALLAH and things are even more complicated...so yeah peoples my bro is the talk of the post today..he is complicated to understand now..he has behavioral problems..actually there are other things too..
- he misbehaves with almost everyone in the family.
- he doesn't like to have orders from anyone .
- he reacts so much on pity things.
- he keeps on wasting time on his cell instead of studying...and when we tell him to focus on books ..he shouts and misbehaves.
- he criticizes on everybody now..
- he is stuck in his room like 24/7...wastes times in every possible manner..
- when we try to reason with him..he pretends to be the Most Wise man on earth.
- and he acts as if he knows every thing..and he knows better then anyone else.. (me and my father included..).
- you try to talk to him and he just doesn't listen..and the list goes on and on.
- In short he is a walking tik tok Bomb in the House..every body avoids stepping on his tail..or there is a Blast!! if you know what I mean!!/..
I have discussed this with some of my male friends and they have told me "its normal!" and that he will be fine like after 2/3 years..this is a phase and there is nothing to worry about..IS IT? I mean okay I know it could be a phase..as bringing up four daughters , My poor parents had absolutely no experience of taking care of a Son..so may be it made things a little complicated here..it happens right?
Daughters are so easy-going..I mean we are four..and all four of us are so caring towards our parents..we love our father,,em not saying that my bro doesn't..but there is something that is missing from the picture..we care for our parents..and he doesn't seem to be doing that much! this is a constant tension for all Four of us..see we are the daughters and we ought to leave our parent's house sooner or later..its our Bro who is somebody that my parents will be looking up to once we are gone to our In-Laws..so we are really worried for him..and we are worried for our parents too..
My parents have brought us in a wonderful manner..all four of us are highly Educated, Confident and strong..but that doesn't matter here...we are not supposed to stay with them for long...so all the hard work goes in vain..right? its my bro whose bringing up matters most and I fear we just couldn't handle it properly..may be They (my ummi ubba) dint know how to bring up a boy after FOUR daughters!! They kept him under the same rules and lines! hmmmm complicated! hai na?
Khair so my Friends keep on telling me that its going to be just fine..your bro is fine and there is nothing wrong with him..all the boys int he world behave in the same stupid way when they are in this age-phase..so chill and cool down...and Honestly peoples I have tried to cool down and I have tried my level best no to think much about it..but I just cant help it..being the eldest in the family..em the one who is most attached with my parents..
and besides I have partly brought him up along with my mother..he is my baby too...
I used to do all the Boyish things with him when he was a young kid..I worried so much that he had no one else to play with that I volunteered to be his Boy Play-mate..we have done things together..that Include..watching wrestling...car racing, cricket,hockey,action movies,and what not! I was his elder bro too...he is attached with me..or he was! not sure about it now...hmmmm well I better spit it out now..
yes this is the thing that's troubling me the most this moment ..the thought that he is not attached with me any more..not in that way..that pissed me off badly..and then I think if I have done something terrible to spoil that attachment..like criticizing on him 24/7!! don't know..but yeah this is problematic ...and it keeps me worried all the time...he is past his F.sc and should ponder more about his Future Plans but he Doesnt seem to care much about it.That is a real issue now..
What to do peoples? if you have more experience of bringing up boys and then Handling them ..please share that with me,.and do tell me if em not OVER-REACTING?!!