It was a beautiful day,Though it was December already but there was not the usual December cold yet.The sun was neither too hard nor too soft,it was completely bearable.She looked around her,the sight was beautiful and peaceful,there were many student trips that made this safari park crowded with young healthy faces of teenager boys and girls,She could sense many young curious eyes on them.They must be making naughty remarks too,she thought in her heart, it was obvious after all, if she were at their place,she would have passed some jolly remarks aloud too,she recalled her young side in her mind and smiled sadly,all those curious eyes were justified,they were looking such an odd couple sitting in that rather a bit more peaceful and quiet corner of the park.She was in an outfit that suited her best,this was a part of his request too.He said he wants to see her in her best possible attire.So there she was, with one of her best looks.He ,on the other hand, looked miserable.
When she first saw him for the first time that afternoon,she felt something hit her hard in the chest.He surely was not the man that he used to be,the man that she had fallen for.Gone was the shine on his face that used to make him some extra handsome,he was looking painfully pale,had surely lost some pounds too, and had this sick look on his face,she could not understand weather this was the sick look that made him look this broke or the black color that he was wearing.The only thing that made her able to concentrate was his loving gaze,the same gaze that used to held her breath,he was showering his gaze upon her like he always did and somehow it made her heart hurt some more.She tried hard to push the tears back in those dark corners of her eyes,control,control!she told herself.
It was Brain Tumor,he had told her.She kept on staring at his face,How could this man die! how could this happen to him! Did she not pray for his health and his happiness despite all the anger and disappointment that she had against him all these months.How come all her prayers were turned down,she wondered.He kept smiling the whole time and kept looking at her,told her she was looking pretty as usual and touched her hair with his finger tips,the soft touch sent a shiver down her spines.She was about to lose control,all those tears were forming up again,very swiftly this time.It was he who noticed the first tear rolling down her check,he stopped smiling all of a sudden.She looked at him and the expression on his face froze her.It was pain,pure and naked pain and sheer grief,She tried to say something and could not find any words.All she could murmured was SORRY and all she heard was him sobbing in a very very low voice.He was crying too,She shook her head in disbelief.Are you OK,she asked and he kept on sitting in a position that said he does not want to face her that moment.Out of the watery corners of her eyes she could see tears on his face.
Then he turned to face her,held both her hands,she waited for him to say something and he stayed in that position for a while his teary face lowered.Then she heard his shaky voice,she tried to make sense of what she heard,she couldn't .Then he said that again,she blinked her eyes and held her breath.He was saying sorry to her for failing her,for not been able to do what he was supposed to do,for not been able to fight with his Tumor.He said he wants to live for her,for her and with her and he is sorry for not making it possible.He said he loves her in a way that no one else can and he is sorry he could not stand by her,he was saying sorry for letting her down.She was listening to him and with each word her heart was skipping a beat.
He wanted to say more perhaps but stopped to breathe.She lifted his face up with trembling hand, their eyes met for the first time after months and she got lost in that moment.In his eyes,there was love,tenderness,pain and misery,she could not assess where Love ended and where pain was mingled with tenderness.They stayed like that for a while,actually she does not remember for how long exactly.It was the sound of a naughty whistle that brought them back in real life,She turned to have a clear view of the trespasser,it was a young boy,he still had his eyes on them while his lips playing with an mischievous smile.He let go of her hands and smiled,she smiled with him while she wiped his eyes with her tissue paper.
Not much happened that afternoon between them,they stayed with each other.She fell completely quiet when he told her it could be his last time with her.He was leaving for a surgery that had very low chances for him and wanted to see her one last time.She did not waste anytime on talking after knowing this,she kept his eyes on him as if they were memorising each feature of his pale face to save in her heart forever.
He told her to wait for him,said he will be back for her,he cant let her go and then laughed a confused laughter.That laughter of him brought tears in her eyes again and this time she did not try to hide them and so did he.What is the thing she wants most this moment,she asked herself, The answer was loud and clear.It was not his companionship that her heart wished for,it was his life that she was begging for to her Lord.Love truly is patient and kind,she smiled at him and he smiled back.This is a beautiful moment,a divine one,she tried to capture and save the whole sight in her heart.
He offered her his hand on their way back,it was their first public display of affection ever and she did not mind it a bit.She heard the young,excited and naughty voices passing remarks on them,they were even singing songs.Both of them looked at each other and shared another smile,a smile that was so sacred,so meaningful and yet secretive.How could they know what I am going through ,she smiled at the kids and kept on walking with him,holding his hand like she never had while her other hand gripped that tissue tightly in her palm which had his tears into it.
Somtimes you are granted with every blessing of being loved,yet your heart asks for more,greedily and obstinaley and Sometimes all Love can give us is nothing more then a Tissue Paper soaked with tears and it seems there is nothing else you can desire for, your heart seems to be content with it.
Who can understand Love anyways..