Its weird how sometimes your own life seems to be so taken by others, so not yours,,,Don't get me wrong here...don't judge me just because I have names this post as Suicidal Tendencies..em okay..just fine..couldn't be better...Its just em down...Yeah I know people usually don't expect me to say this..and whenever I try to tell them that em ONLY HUMAN..they just don't get it! WHY PEOPLE?! just because I sound and appear so cheerful and lively and energetic doesn't mean I cant get enough with life!
Just because I have always been a positive person does not mean that I cant get tired of all the trash Life throws at me...Just because I have never appeared weak does not mean that I will always be strong..em only human and i wonder why cant people take this!
I'm experiencing the strangest of mood swings ever..and em not a coward that i will just not admit it outta feat that what people will think of me..or how they will judge me,,so yeah em having these suicidal tendencies....its not slitting the wrist sh*t that em talking about here...these are very innocent, harmless cute little tendencies..when I wish to sleep for hours and hours and then never get up..or when i just want to PLAY DEAD...or when I just don't feel like taking anything that life gives me..and i just feel like giving up..giving up on everything and everyone..
Well I don't know how many of you exactly have experienced this..though I can bet that there comes this point in almost everybody' life when you just don't feel like fighting back...when it gets so messed up that you just want to sit back and see yourself drowning...
What makes it worst is how people around you take this! All they try to do is to MOTIVATE you and LECTURE you and CONVINCE you that how beautiful life is and that you are being a Loser and Blah Blah..oh and yeah when they tell you that how you will be punished if you take your own life..I mean yeah I totally understand the philosophy that works behind these kind of MOTIVATIONAL SPEECHES..been there done that! and I never thought how the person on the other end must be feeling when we tell him/her that "Look Dude! you cant just take your own life..or you will be thrown into that pit full of fire"..with an Apology to my Non-Urdu Speaking Readers...
"Tundoor main ulta latka dein gein Allah Miyan...or 10 number kay chitter sy phenti alag purni hai..Soch lo Baita!"
These words were said to me by one of my THE MOST SENTIMENTAL friend and the ironic part is that I was the one who used them once on her!
Khair so yeah My point of writing this was the fact that how we are so suppressed under the social pressure that we cant live our damn life the way we want to...We just cant do that..our society is and please don't mind my French here is a pretty much f**ked up society..
Where the social pressure ends , begins the RELIGIOUS one! Yeah the damn self-proclaimed Molanaz and Mullaz..Dare to ask them one logical question and there you go! Out of the circle ...with a tag of SKEPTIC and KAFFIR and GUSTAKH! r
To everyone out there who thinks the same or who has given this speech to any one or is planning to SAVE somebody's life..
"Trust me People, telling somebody with this freaky desire of killing his/her self that they cant do it coz they dont have any right to take their life DOES NOT HELP! It freaks them out a bit more! yeah..it messes things up so next time ,,skip the speech part and talk to them about their Favourite Movie..It will help!"
To cut the crap, the point is that EM OK people! Thank you so much for your concerns..em so indebted to you..I cant return that back..Thank you so much to every single one of you who sent me the mails and kept asking me if I was ok...
I am OK buddies..and Don't worry em not gonna shoot myself or rat-poison myself..I have this Instinctive talent for fighting back and I will survive this phase..So Just because em reading HOW TO COMMIT SUICIDE THE EASY WAY doesn't mean em actually gonna do it..and it also does not mean that em giving up on life..it just means that LET ME BREATHE and give me some space...this is my life and let me decide what i want to do with it..just don't give me your social pressure tantrums and tell me how em supposed to live my damn life..I can take care of that...
I hopefully am back here so I will read all your pending posts..I know I have missed a lot..But I will manage with my reading list...so yeah people hope to see you around...Love you All...God Bless you and I hope you never get these Tendencies! :p