A welcome note..


Monday, June 11, 2012

Suicidal Tendencies mean ITS MY LIFE AND LET ME LIVE IT



Its weird how sometimes your own life seems to be so taken by others, so not yours,,,Don't get me wrong here...don't judge me just because I have names this post as Suicidal Tendencies..em okay..just fine..couldn't be better...Its just em down...Yeah I know people usually don't expect me to say this..and whenever I try to tell them that em ONLY HUMAN..they just don't get it! WHY PEOPLE?! just because I sound and appear so cheerful and lively and energetic doesn't mean I cant get enough with life!


Just because I have always been a positive person does not mean that I cant get tired of all the trash Life throws at me...Just because I have never appeared weak does not mean that I will always be strong..em only human and i wonder why cant people take this!


I'm experiencing the strangest of mood swings ever..and em not a coward that i will just not admit it outta feat that what people will think of me..or how they will judge me,,so yeah em having these suicidal tendencies....its not slitting the wrist sh*t that em talking about here...these are very innocent, harmless cute little tendencies..when I wish to sleep for hours and hours and then never get up..or when i just want to PLAY DEAD...or when I just don't feel like taking anything that life gives me..and i just feel like giving up..giving up on everything and everyone..


Well I don't know how many of you exactly have experienced this..though I can bet that there comes this point in almost everybody' life when you just don't feel like fighting back...when it gets so messed up that you just want to sit back and see yourself drowning...


What makes it worst is how people around you take this! All they try to do is to MOTIVATE you and LECTURE you and CONVINCE you that how beautiful life is and that you are being a Loser and Blah Blah..oh and yeah when they tell you that how you will be punished if you take your own life..I mean yeah I totally understand the philosophy that works behind these kind of MOTIVATIONAL SPEECHES..been there done that! and I never thought how the person on the other end must be feeling when we tell him/her that "Look Dude! you cant just take your own life..or you will be thrown into that pit full of fire"..with an Apology to my Non-Urdu Speaking Readers...


"Tundoor main ulta latka dein gein Allah Miyan...or 10 number kay chitter sy phenti alag purni hai..Soch lo Baita!"


These words were said to me by one of my THE MOST SENTIMENTAL friend and the ironic part is that I was the one who used them once on her! 
Khair so yeah My point of writing this was the fact that how we are so suppressed under the social pressure that we cant live our damn life the way we want to...We just cant do that..our society is and please don't mind my French here is a pretty much f**ked up society..


Where the social pressure ends , begins the RELIGIOUS one! Yeah the damn self-proclaimed Molanaz and Mullaz..Dare to ask them one logical question and there you go! Out of the circle ...with a tag of SKEPTIC and KAFFIR and GUSTAKH! r


To everyone out there who thinks the same or who has given this speech to any one or is planning to SAVE somebody's life..


"Trust me People, telling somebody with this freaky desire of killing his/her self that they cant do it coz they dont have any right to take their life DOES NOT HELP! It freaks them out a bit more! yeah..it messes things up so next time ,,skip the speech part and talk to them about their Favourite Movie..It will help!"


To cut the crap, the point is that EM OK people! Thank you so much for your concerns..em so indebted to you..I cant return that back..Thank you so much to every single one of you who sent me the mails and kept asking me if I was ok...


I am OK buddies..and Don't worry em not gonna shoot myself or rat-poison myself..I have this Instinctive talent for fighting back and I will survive this phase..So Just because em reading HOW TO COMMIT SUICIDE THE EASY WAY doesn't mean em actually gonna do it..and it also does not mean that em giving up on life..it just means that LET ME BREATHE and give me some space...this is my life and let me decide what i want to do with it..just don't give me your social pressure tantrums and tell me how em supposed to live my damn life..I can take care of that...


I hopefully am back here so I will read all your pending posts..I know I have missed a lot..But I will manage with my reading list...so yeah people hope to see you around...Love you All...God Bless you and I hope you never get these Tendencies! :p

59 comments:

  1. You are back to pavillion--thank you.
    The community missed you during your extended mood swing period.
    Life is struggle, as such it's not easy to live smoothly and that's true for everyone.
    Especially the environment you are in is way too much painful so suicidal tendency is common.
    Let's move on.____________You are most welcome back Mishi!

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    1. em truly indebted for your concerns...thank you so much and I will make sure I will stay around now:)

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  2. These instincts are bound to come, but let me tell you damn heck with the society, live your life to the fullest dear. You have the right to choose your path of life. No one can hurt you on that and no one can snatch it away from you. Being brave do wonders and I know you are one such brave Girl. Nice post and wonderfully penned. As I read some of those lines you actually were framing my sentences , from my mind. Newaz welcome back with a cheerful smile.

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    1. Thank you so much for understanding it so well Ashiwini:-)

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  3. I Felt Like That, A Few Years Ago. Maybe A Few Days Ago. May Be, Again, A Few Nights Ago. & The Way People LEcture You On Everything, Mostly From Family. (& To Be Honest My Class Fellows One Day Asked Me "Yaar Tum Kaafir To Nahin Ho")

    Well We All Got Those Moments. & You're Back To Forward.

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    1. haha yeh..jus show them little sense and logic and they ask you this YAR TUM KAFIR TOU NAI HO wala question!

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  4. sometimes life does bring you to such places where this is all that one can think of ..

    but i hope seriously you dont let any of the people get to you , this is what people do .. Kuch to log kahenege - logon ka kaam hai kehna ...

    and i liked those two urdu lines ..

    take care of yourself and if you need to talk to someone I am always online you know that :)

    Bikram's

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    1. hehe yeh these lines are funny but this is what I thought in my mind when I heard her talking about committing suicide..and thank you so much ..I know you are there..I keep on peeping in your window too:p em your SECRET ADMIRER! remember?:P

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  5. Mishi,

    The difference between a sane person and an insane one is that former thinks rationally. I have no doubts at all that you are sane. I am sure that you will never let my faith down.

    Take care

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    1. Just Dont worry Uncle Jack..em just fine...I will not do anything that will disappoint the ones who care about me...its just em tired and you know why..so it will take some time before I will get back to my normal life again..thank you for staying there for me..Love You:-)

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  6. its jus matter of time mishi ...this phase will pass soon jus be strong ... life has many surprises ... and I m sure you will love something in store for you..
    good to see ya back
    :)

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    1. Nice to see you too Harman...I hope Life is treating you well!:-)

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  7. Yes yes yes yes YES!
    If I could, I'd courier all the people this post and ask them to read it!
    I don't know why people tell me, omg you're low? Like why? I mean what the hell? Just because I'm cheery n stuff, doesn't mean I don't have my ups and downs? Sigh. Stupid people.
    Hope you feel better soon. I'm always here btw :]

    @Tales of her and by her.
    &
    @Teenage Babblings

    xx

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    1. LOL..Yeah people need to know this..need to understand when to give space to others....and thank you sweetie...em touched to read that you are always there for me:-)

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    2. Exactly! Only if the people who should, would get it.
      Aww, just know I mean it :] xx

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  8. seems as if someone really got on ur nerves that it resulted in this weird article

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  9. and one more thing.. you seem to have issues.. you need to see a psychiatrist..

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    1. dafuq? YOU need to see a psychiatrist Mr Anonymous.
      :|

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    2. LOL...No Mr Anonymous I dont gve anyone THAT much importance, its something else..but of course U will not get it...its for sensitive people to understand...thank you for the Psychiatrist tip..seems like you been there done that!:P

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    3. @Blahblaholic..relax honey...not everybody can get it..u need a kind heart to understand what other might be going through..like you have:-*

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    4. well i was just helping.. what i think is that you are an extremely weak person who gets affected by stuff said to her.. i feel sorry for those who are close to you :/

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  10. awww that so sweet of you..Btw we are all weak! aint it? its just a matter of who has the nerves to accept it and who is good at Playing Brave!

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  11. yea everybody is weak in one way or the other BUT remember.... that person will be successful who is good at playing brave rather than a sissy retard who has suicidal tendencies after being positive all of his life.

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    1. Darling you really need to Cool Off now..Yeh itni preshani ki bat bhi nai thi jitni U nay bana di:P

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  12. yes, its just a matter of time, as someone said above.....
    and its all part of life which does happen to most of us at times....so live the life as you like but just remember that there are ppl who have concern for us and we must think abt them too while we live the life our own way.....

    Take care...looking forward to read you again here soon.....


    irfan

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    1. Yup thats true! Long Time no See by the way..Hope you are doing fine:-)

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  13. y did you have to delete my comments :/

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    1. Look Buddy, I dont have any issue with your getting this critical about what I write here, I am ok with that but watch yourself before you start getting personal with me...I wont mind that too BUT you will have to get in-front of me first, so next time you feel like getting personal with me here, dont forget to make yourself a profile with your real name and photo! and then get back here again and we will have a chit chat..promise! ok?

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  14. i done have time to make profiles and then comment.. if i can have my say without going through the pain of making a profile.. why on earth will i make a profile :/

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    1. yeah yeah y would you make a profile then! but that is for commenting on the post only, if you feel like getting personal with me next time, you will have to do that first ,you see there is no FUN replying to the personal attacks from an ANONYMOUS reader! since you sound so exciting about doing it again so y dont you do it with your own name next time? it will make me some extra interested in your comment!:p

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  15. Oh yeh to Heavy scene ho gia hay :p

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    1. lol mr anonymous beta version.. all i said was right.. you dont have to support who has issues.. and yea i proved it..

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    2. yeah yeah you proved it! Shabash for that mr.Anonymous

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    3. and mr.Anonymous Beta version..that comment was not for you..the profile wala, showie i confused you with somebody else (read Anonymous here)

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    4. pleeej take me with you!:p

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  16. @mr beta anonymous.. stop being a kid.. be a man and talk something of substance :/

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    1. Hey You!!
      Leave Beta Anonymous alone!!
      OK?

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    2. beta anonymous seems to be some stupid person.. who is just commenting for the sake of commenting.. is he or she your secret admirer or what lol.. you are so supporting him or her..

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  17. and beta anonymous if you are a girl.. your disease is just incurable lol

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  18. and well mishi you know its true.. and thanks for the proposal but i wont marry you.. i am way out of your league.. however, i will be happy to pay for your psychiatrist .. agreed ?:P

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    1. Sighhhhhhhh!!~
      okay! get me to a strikingly good-looking single ,ready to mingle psychiatrist then and you are free to go! *wink wink* oh and make sure he has some good sense of humor too, men without a sense of humor STINK! (NOTHING PERSONAL!!:p)

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    2. @Anonymous DaFuck seriously, no offense but if you truly dont like the writer of this page and disagree with her so much , y are you arguing with her like a fucking retard? this is her page man, she can write whatever she feels like.you dont like it.,dont read it and dont comment.who the hell are you to tell her she has issues? i tell you what, you have issues.she is just being polite or i will say being Sarcastic but you are just not getting it.such an Idiot that you are.now leave this space if you cant take this anymore.i find her adorable and so do other people too.have you thought y r u the only person saying stupid things here? because you are an idiot and freak who can do nothing else but tell people they need to c a psychiatrist.get a life Loser

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  19. hahaha @jojo.. who is talking to you? y do you have to be her lawyer? you know what.. i dont even want to answer you coz i dont even care for what you have to say.. you remind me of one quote: "barking dogs never bite"... so my friend jojo.. continue barking i am listening :) and some people just cant mind their own business.. i am commenting here.. DaFuck is wrong with youuu lolzz.. and i am a big fan of disagreeing.. got a problem? ummmm then i will say again..continue barking lol

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    1. the thing is that i am a big fan of disagreeing too n i cant just stand Barking DOgs too so deal with it.what makes you think you can criticize others and you cant be criticized yourself? i was right when i said you one FUCKING RETARD!

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  20. mishi a good looking psychiatrist? now seriously how desperate can you be? :P .. lets face it.. you are used to rejections so me rejecting you wont even affect you.. and dont worry.. if you dont ever find anyone... go for beta anonymous as you are so interested in going to hawai with him lol.. and you were being so harsh on me for judging you.. then what about the serious men? why are you judging them? why are you passing sweeping statements that they stink? maybe in their point of view you might be a stinky desperado :P

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    1. ha ha admit it or not.you are her SECRET ADMIRER too.look at the way you are commenting here.you love talking to her.LOOooooSER!

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    2. dont tell others they cant judge people, what are you doing here ? judging her for one post? explore the rest of her blog you idiot she is an amazing person at least she has the guts to confess her weaknesses and take criticism seriously freak if it were my page i would have banned you.give her credit for listing you at the first place

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  21. i wont even bother to read your comments jojo :) .. its a waste of time replying you jerk lolzzzz

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  22. one more thing.. you are acting like a sissy friend zoned guy trying to protect mishi lolzzz

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  23. hahaha and you are still reading my comments Loooooooser, and FUCK YOU for i am a gal and no i am not mishis friend. i am a random reader like you .look at you you are dying to have arguments visiting this page like a freak waiting for her to reply .such a loooooooser

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  24. shut up Anonoymous
    not every one is SICK like you.
    I respect this girl after seeing how patiently she took your stupid comments.shame on you

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    1. well shud i ever shut up? why? if a person writes, he or she should be open to criticism.. one shouldnt expect to get all the comments like, "awww you are so great".. awww so sweet" .. sometimes people should be criticized even more than they deserve.. it makes them suffer but THEY COME OUT STRONG AT THE END..

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    2. awwww how sweet of you ,you want her to come strong out of it? admit it loooser you ARE her secret admirer.ha ha ha

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  25. What the Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat! what is going on here guys.everybody relax and calm down its just a blog , why you guys are fighting? @Mr. ANONYMOUS, you need to cool off dude .she is not even bothering to reply you back and you are fighting like a crazy man here.I doubt if what jojo said is right.relax man

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    1. well nobody is fighting over here.. its just an aggressive debate.. however jojo sought to uncivilized way of discussing stuff.. so yea wouldnt bother replying her.. am not expecting a reply from her anyway.. why are you guys getting all agitated because of harsh criticism of mine? everyone should experience it.. no offense but you should give your views on the topic in discussion here rather than the "meetee paoo" scheme lol

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    2. He is the one who started that. you can read it yourself.this man needs to learn how to talk to others or else get ready to be pissed off

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  26. @Anonymous hey buddy what are you doing is useless, why dont you go and read her latest post? she already has come strong out of this.we are all weak humans .every one has his/her weak points.you must be having one too.

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Love it or Hate it but Dont you dare Ignore it;p Do say something..I don't fear Criticism so you can say whatever you want to say!